With love and light I move forward. Forward into the depths of my soul, my life, my true self — my everything. I move forward with love and understanding of who I was, am and will be. An understanding that all of those energies are me, right now and forever.
But I will not attach to them, I will not let them define who I am in this ever-changing moment. I feel hope and I feel joy for what the future holds. I feel sorrow for all the things that happened in my past and for all the ways I let it consume and control me.
I will forgive that person, that child who was so anxious and sensitive that she had reoccurring dreams that her whole family would be burned alive while she watched. The end was coming for her family and her innocence and this is what she was being shown.
She didn’t know it at the time, but she was seeing and feeling exactly what was happening in her environment, through her intuition and sensitivity. Highly sensitive and highly intuitive, she felt everything. Everything while she was left confused and overwhelmed, not knowing why this was happening or how to fix it.
No one told her she was this way, no way told her how to release, how to protect herself, how to detach.
She had to go through this journey of discovering. From a child and into maturity. She had to venture out into the mundane world of a human to find her spirit self, to find her authenticity, her joy and her true being. She had to be catapulted into a new realty that seemed so fast it was as if she was in a spiritual boot camp
Things and people were removed from her life so she could find her source, her freedom, her true loves. She wasscalped of all things familiar and close to her. These things were removed as if burned in that home while she watched and couldn’t do anything about it — only watch. Watch as the flames surrounded her, but didn’t touch.
Heated her heart, her mind, and awakened her feelings of abandonment, guilt, of all the wrong she had done. Did she cause this fire, did she set it, did she ignite this or was it just a magical disaster? Did any of that matter? This time she rose, rose like the phoenix from the ashes.
Flew above the fears, the doubts and the overwhelming loathing that had plagued her, her whole life. This time it made her strong, made her independent. It forced her to find freedom. Freedom within herself and the freedom that was all around her just waiting for her to see.
“Healers are Spiritual Warriors who have found the courage to defeat the darkness of their souls. Awakening and rising from the depths of their deepest fears, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. Reborn with a wisdom and strength that creates a light that shines bright enough to help, encourage, and inspire others out of their own darkness.” ~ Melanie Koulouris
Now she’s prompted by healers, seers and guides for her (me) to review these last 9 months, these last 9 years. And see where I’ve been and where I am. To see it, not attach to it, not feel guilty about it, but just to see it. Truly see it, as if the observer, the true nature of all of it, see it and release it.
Free it from the cloak of darkness I unknowingly engulfed myself in. The cloak out of fear and guilt. Fear of pain and guilt of the true self. See how all that is — is a product of what was, and love it. Free it with love. Love it so hard it no longer plagues me, no longer controls my soul, my choices of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Becky Hernandez (The Misfit Yogi) is a freedom writer, intuitive healer, a spiritual believer, meditator, certified yogi and life experience seeker. She is currently trying to embrace the path of most resistance. You could contact her via her website or Instagram.